Hvad griner du af lige nu

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Flora
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Re: Hvad griner du af lige nu

Indlægaf Flora » 22. mar 2017, 22:23

Lismaens skrev:
Smiling_Goat skrev:
Lismaens skrev:Really? :lol:


Den slags står der på rigtig mange fødevarer

En pakke KitKat med 4 stave indeholder fx 2 portioner.. Fabrikanterne har tydeligvis ikke mødt mig.. Eller resten af verdens befolkning

Jeg må indrømme at jeg sjældent læser etiketterne. Det er også derfor, at jeg først læser dette i dag, flere år efter min Pepsi Max-addiction startede. Men altså, hvem i alverden kan ikke regne ud at det halve af en halv liter er 250 ml. Og hvorfor mener producenten at jeg evt. bør dele min Pepsi Max op, så der er to portioner. Ingen skal røre min Pepsi Max. Eller min KitKat.


Fordi så kan de skrive "1 portion indeholder X kalorier", hvilket typisk får produktet til at virke mere kalorielet end det reelt er, hvilket sælger bedre. Det er selvfølgelig et ubrugeligt mål, da portionerne netop ofte er urealistisk små, men det er det der er formålet.
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icelady
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Re: Hvad griner du af lige nu

Indlægaf icelady » 22. mar 2017, 22:44

Billede
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....

“I do not see why man should not be as cruel as nature” -A. Hitler
Yetie
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Re: Hvad griner du af lige nu

Indlægaf Yetie » 23. mar 2017, 09:27

Lismaens skrev:
Smiling_Goat skrev:
Lismaens skrev:Really? :lol:


Den slags står der på rigtig mange fødevarer

En pakke KitKat med 4 stave indeholder fx 2 portioner.. Fabrikanterne har tydeligvis ikke mødt mig.. Eller resten af verdens befolkning

Jeg må indrømme at jeg sjældent læser etiketterne. Det er også derfor, at jeg først læser dette i dag, flere år efter min Pepsi Max-addiction startede. Men altså, hvem i alverden kan ikke regne ud at det halve af en halv liter er 250 ml. Og hvorfor mener producenten at jeg evt. bør dele min Pepsi Max op, så der er to portioner. Ingen skal røre min Pepsi Max. Eller min KitKat.



Der er regler for hvad producenterne skal angive som portionsstørrelse i mange tilfælde. F.eks. skal en pose chips deklareres med den helt utopisk lille portionsstørrelse 30g.
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paint
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Re: Hvad griner du af lige nu

Indlægaf paint » 23. mar 2017, 09:55

NU, er det endelig blevet forår, og dét skal fejres - med lidt gang i gaden ude på altanen (syntes dette par). Deres medbeboere i gaden, var ikke helt af samme opfattelse.

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Følg dem der søger sandheden, men vogt dig for dem der siger at de har fundet den

Det sted du søger, er det sted du søger fra
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Studsgaard
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Re: Hvad griner du af lige nu

Indlægaf Studsgaard » 23. mar 2017, 23:27

Denne lille historie kan ikke anbefales at læse hvis man ligger i sengen med ens partner sovende ved siden af og man ikke vil vække dem fordi man griner så tårnene triller.

ONLY A MAN WOULD ATTEMPT THIS

Just try reading this without laughing till you cry!!!

Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.

A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer.

The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...??

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home... I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.

AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right?

There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.

I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.

Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Tazer in another.

The directions said that:

a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant;

a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and

a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.

Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it.

I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and...

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. WHAT THE... !!!

I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note:
If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Tazer,
one note of caution:

There is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor!
A three second burst would be considered conservative!

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape.

My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace.
· The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was.
· My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching..
· My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.
· I had no control over the drooling.
· Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone.
· I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair.
I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!

PS: My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it!

If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!!
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Delfin
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Re: Hvad griner du af lige nu

Indlægaf Delfin » 24. mar 2017, 00:20

Billede
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Animi
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Re: Hvad griner du af lige nu

Indlægaf Animi » 24. mar 2017, 14:02

:slem:

IMG_1174.PNG
Du har ikke de nødvendige tilladelser til at se vedhæftede filer i dette indlæg.
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You know what the issue is with this world? Everyone wants a magical solution to their problem, and everyone refuses to believe in magic.
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paint
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Re: Hvad griner du af lige nu

Indlægaf paint » 24. mar 2017, 14:22

Billede
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Følg dem der søger sandheden, men vogt dig for dem der siger at de har fundet den

Det sted du søger, er det sted du søger fra
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Delfin
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Re: Hvad griner du af lige nu

Indlægaf Delfin » 24. mar 2017, 19:40

1.png
Du har ikke de nødvendige tilladelser til at se vedhæftede filer i dette indlæg.
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Ondemand
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Re: Hvad griner du af lige nu

Indlægaf Ondemand » 24. mar 2017, 23:00

fnis :genert:

http://fisse.de
IMG_0891.JPG
Du har ikke de nødvendige tilladelser til at se vedhæftede filer i dette indlæg.
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“Tradition is not the worship of ashes, but the preservation of fire.”
― Gustav Mahler
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paint
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Re: Hvad griner du af lige nu

Indlægaf paint » 25. mar 2017, 14:03

'Ryan Air Train'. Billetten er billig, men det koster kassen at tage bagage med ind i toget.



Billede
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Følg dem der søger sandheden, men vogt dig for dem der siger at de har fundet den

Det sted du søger, er det sted du søger fra
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Badesandalen
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Re: Hvad griner du af lige nu

Indlægaf Badesandalen » 25. mar 2017, 20:59

paint skrev:Billede

Det ser ud som om han går tur med dem; "kom så, drenge, vi skal den her vej." :lol:
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Spjaerten
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Re: Hvad griner du af lige nu

Indlægaf Spjaerten » 26. mar 2017, 11:17

Der var jo lidt larm i nat her i København pga fyrværkeri :rulle:

En tilladelse givet kun af brandvæsenet og ikke politiet, som ikke blev overholdt ifht. Tidspunkt
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Tryk på * :slem:
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icelady
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Re: Hvad griner du af lige nu

Indlægaf icelady » 26. mar 2017, 18:15








:genert:
1
....

“I do not see why man should not be as cruel as nature” -A. Hitler
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Mangoness
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Re: Hvad griner du af lige nu

Indlægaf Mangoness » 27. mar 2017, 18:12

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Jeg elsker dig lille sølvpapirshat-smiley :love:

Billede

Persnikedy skrev:Hvis jeg en dag føler at mine fødder er løg så skal de da være løg :lol:


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